Masturbating with a partner.
Mutual masturbation is probably the most performed and most enjoyed sexual pleasure of sexual activities. It brings both partners together whether man and woman, man and man ot lady and lady. The whole point of mutaual masturbation is that partners offer unique pleasure to each other while enjoying them self!. Unlike the sex act, which for many is fleeting in its pleasure, masturbating can continue for minutes, or even hours, thus bonding the couple together. Its activities are limitles with the pleasure of watching each other masturbating, masturbating each other, group masturbating - in fact thefield is limitless.
In this section we cover a range of techniques including using instruments, two people together and group masturbation.
Ways To masturbate
I have enjoyed many pleasurable sexual experiences in my life, except for being the recipient of anal sex for which I have no inclination, and it is important to be clear that there is no RIGHT or WRONG way. All aspects of sex are so that the individual, couple or group enjoy pleasure and as long as they harm nobody then they should take that pleasure.
An important proviso is that they take precautions so that they also do not harm each other. Remember that HIV is sexually transmitted and condoms are an excellent barrier.
"Mutual Masturbation" can mean any the following sexually related activities engaged in by either males or females in pairs or groups:
- One person masturbating in the presence of another but not touching the other.
- Two persons masturbating.in front of each other
- More than two people masturbating in the presence of each other as a group but not touching each other.
- Two people masturbating each other .
- Two or more people masturbating with each other and bringing to a mutual climax
- A group masturbations where the group masturbates each other
A Few Personal Comments
I don't think that for most of us the leap from solo to mixed masturbation comes instantly but evolves through experimentation. Here are a few personal thoughts.
I shared a room with my brother but for a long time - probably a year - we masturbated alone either in the toilet or in our bedroom when the other was not around and for years we had heard each other 'jacking off' under the bed clothes with no thought of touching each other . It was one evening when I came into the bedroom and found my brother returning from having a shower I saw that his cock was standing out like a tent under his pyjamas. As he put his hand inside to ease it Iwent and removing his hand I replaced it with my own. He stood there while I slipped his pyjama trousers down and began to gently rub the shaft . He stayed still and gradually I saw the pleasure in his face and his body tensing. I speeded up until suddenly he spurted a load of cum across the room. I eased my hand speed down until he was drained. He looked at me and I dropped my trousers. It was clear that I was as aroused as he had been. I lay back on my bed and waited. He then took my pyjama trousers off ; took hold of my cock and started rubbing. It was strange not being in control but I enjoyed it in a different way and soon found that just lying back and being wanked offered new and exciting pleasures. This was the first of many times over the next year that we played with each other. After that we often used to wank each other off at the same time or lay back and see who could hold on longest. We never attempted, or indeed wanted, to go further but I believe for both of us it was an enjoyable time.
Now we go to more clinical advice - no less pertinent for all that.. There are also recommendations for various instruments many again which offer help when you are on your own. At present most of the best are for women but gradually better ones for men are coming on the market.
I will not go through all the stages I followed but now I do enjoy sitting back naked holding my cock while opposite a lady, also naked, has her legs spread and also plays with herself. With one lady we can keep this up stopping and starting for well over half an hour before we come together for a final sexual encounter. For both of us this is the climax to an enjoyable session. For my brother and I in our earlier period we went on like this for a long time before we discovered GIRLS - but that is another story!
The external female genitals are called the vulva. Pubic hair grows on the labia majora or outer vaginal lips; inside are the labia minora, which are pinker and moister. If your own genitals are not familiar to you, you might examine them in a hand mirror while bathing or showering. The clitoris is found where the labia minora join at the top.
This highly sensitive pink knob is about the size of a pea and is protected by a hood, which retracts during sexual arousal. Below the clitoris is the tiny opening of the urethra, through which urine passes, and below that is the opening to the vagina.
Masturbation is best when you have plenty of time and when you won't be interrupted. Go somewhere private, quiet and warm. Beyond that, it's completely up to you: some women like to lie on their back, some on their front; some like their legs pressed tightly together, while others like them spread wide apart or propped above the body. Others find they get stimulation with the heat of a bath or the 'driving rain' of a shower. Using a lubricant can help while you explore with your fingers or an object such as a vibrator. Experimentation is the key
Women who need prolonged clitoral stimulation are encouraged to experiment with a vibrator. For some, a vibrator is the only way to reach climax. (More on these later). Explore your erogenous zones and discover what truly pleases you.
The most common method is to caress and massage the clitoris to orgasm; the clitoris may be covered by skin or partially exposed, so take some time to explore this area carefully. How much and what kind of stimulation works best varies widely from woman to woman, but beginners are encouraged to explore and lightly touch the genital area for pleasure spots, and to stroke and caress these spots as they find them.
Recently the so called 'g' spot has been much publicised. This is on the wall of the inside of the pussy. Some ladies finds it works for them when this area is stimulated while othrs have no reaction. Again, as with everthing try for yourself and see what works for you!
Experiment with pressure and speed: many women find the clitoris too sensitive for direct stimulation at first, so you might begin by rubbing the whole vulva before gradually moving to the clitoris with delicate fingers. Combine this stimulation with caressing, massaging and touching of other erogenous areas for maximum pleasure: the breasts, thighs, vaginal lips and vagina itself can all add to the experience.
Some women are able to masturbate by repeatedly squeezing their thighs together and releasing, often with their legs crossed at the knees. The advantages of this are obvious: it can be done discreetly, and it frees up the hands for other things. Contracting the thighs and vaginal muscles often makes clitoral stimulation more intense and pleasurable.
Another popular technique is the "waterfall." Many women enjoy this stream-of-water technique, which is most commonly done in a bathtub with the faucet running, or in the shower with a removable head. Set the water to a comfortable temperature (usually warm) and level of force, and have the water flow directly over the clitoris. This should provide enough pressure to stimulate the clitoris and other erogenous areas to orgasm.
Vibrators and dildos are safer, more reliable, and almost guarantee orgasm. Vibrators and dildos are also advised for those women who desire intense, continuous stimulation.
When you feel a gathering tension in the vaginal area and a build-up of warmth, orgasm is on the way. Don't let up, as if you stop these sensations will fade and it might be difficult to get them back again. The clitoris will become increasingly sensitive whether you are stimulating it directly or not, and then orgasm will break out with waves of vaginal contractions. Most women like some form of genital contact during orgasm: either continued stimulation by inserting a finger or simply by pressing or holding the vaginal area.
Learning to masturbate is in many ways taking control of your sexuality. It is the best way to learn how to orgasm, and knowing your own anatomy and sexual responses is key to enjoying great sex with a partner. Self-love is safe, natural and healthy, and will keep you in touch with your sexual challenges, needs and desires.
<Dildoes, Vibrators and other aids<.font color>
There are a very large number of sexual aids for women so we will cover the most popular. These can be viewed and purchesed from a number of shopswho send out by return and discretely so that your credt card statement does not show the name of the company. We recommend .this company
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Dildoes come in all shapes and sizes and are soft/hard vibrating/non-vibrating doubles and so on I am leaving most of this for the Female masturbation page as it is most relevant to this are. However this does not prevent couples from using them when tgether. and experience has shown that a small vibrating dilo in the lady's anus while her clitoris is being masturbated gives very much heightened symptoms and pleasure.
Masturbation is one of the great delights of human existence, and relieves sexual tension that naturally builds up over time. Your body produces and accumulates semen, and wants you to ejaculate to make room for more. Sometimes this happens through nocturnal emissions, which are commonly called wet dreams.
There are a lot of high quality videos on the market that get away from the stereotypical stuff. In recent years the straight 'sex' style videos have been overtaken by 'genre' videos including the newest phenomena of spanking videos which contain sex. These produce a stimulation which creates a need for masturbation and is where many men start. In spite of the 'old wives tales' put about by the early Christian Chrhurch self-love is completely safe; it does not affect the structure or shape of your penis nor your reproductive potential, nor does it stunt your growth or lead to testicular cancer. If the stories people used to believe were true, then there would be an awful lot of blind, insane, hairy-palmed people running around!
Another common misconception is that only lonely and unpopular men and boys masturbate. This is far from the truth; anyone who tells you he doesn't masturbate probably feels guilty about his self-pleasuring and wants you to as well. This vicious cycle propagates the unfounded silence and shame that still surrounds masturbation. The fact is that both married and single people masturbate, and oneís level of masturbation does not necessarily depend on how often one has intercourse. So relax.
Boys usually start masturbating quite early, though most donít ejaculate until around age 12 to 15. (read my own experiences above) Frequency typically peaks around puberty and continues throughout adulthood, even when other forms of sexual activity are available. Still, most adolescent males are embarrassed about masturbation, and only a small percentage discusses it, even with close male friends. Many are terrified that they will be "caught in the act" by a parent, so they learn to get it over with quickly. Only later in life do they learn that the ability to delay orgasm is very important to maximizing sexual pleasure -- all those "quickie" techniques must be unlearned. By the way do not fall for the 'tale' that sex ends at fifty. Far from it I am many years older and still have healthy sex and enjoy masturbation.
Similarly, some adult men try to hide their masturbation from their partners, believing that it might be viewed as a form of rejection. But men who have progressed past this point with their partners almost invariably report having a very satisfactory sex life and their partner finds a new interest as she rubs his cock and gets his 'hard' on for him.
Men employ a variety of masturbation techniques. The simplest is to wrap your fingers around the shaft of your penis, like holding a baseball bat, and rub it up and down. This provides a lot of contact between your hand and the penis the more contact, the more pleasure. There are innumerable variations on this basic technique; experimentation is key. The backhand grip, for instance, is a little difficult at first, but feels great once mastered.
Speed and pressure are completely dependent on what you like. Concentrating at first on the base of the penis and avoiding the tip helps sustain an erection, and is a basic technique for delaying ejaculation. Though most men begin with penile stimulation, the entire groin area becomes more sensitive to the touch during masturbation. Other parts of the body, such as the nipples, can also make masturbation more intense. Naturally, fantasies also add to the pleasure. Also lyaing rubbing your cock gently while your female partner rubs her clitty is a guaranteed way to 'nirvana' as it invariably leads to intercourse and mutual pleasure.
If you're looking to up the ante, you should explore the world of sex toys. One of them is bound to provide the stimulation you're looking for. I am sure there are good ones but I have yet to find one which satisfies..
Some men use a lubricant. If you are uncircumcised you may not find much need for it, but it really is a matter of personal choice. If you are circumcised and chose not to use lube, you can grip the penis firmly and move the top layer of skin (most effective if the skin is a bit loose), or you can grip lightly and slide your fingers/hand across the surface of the shaft. Be aware, however, that your penis can become raw and sore. Lubricants will solve this problem and make the sensation more intense.
It is not advisable, however, to use household products like shampoo or soap as lubricants. They often irritate and dry out the skin, they sting if they contact the urethra, and they may be oil based, which is unsafe if intercourse with a condom is to follow. Vaseline is great in theory, but again is oil based and a real pain to clean up. The best lubes are water-based gels such as K-Y or the Wet lube products: they have a perfect consistency, clean up easily and will not destroy condoms, so they are best if you are having intercourse afterwards. The only disadvantage is that they dry out quite quickly, so you may need to reapply. Pre-ejaculate is also an excellent lubricant, although the supply may be somewhat limited.
To further heighten their arousal, many men like to watch videos or read books.
Sexinfo101 has a superb set of information and pictures of all sexual positions. CLICK on the picture to enter their FREE site
Playing Alone Together (mutual masturbation)3>
A lot of couples very much enjoy watching each other masturbate. You can make your lover a special treat with the Do it Yourself Movie Kit. With this kit you can create videos of yourselves individually and with each other to watch together or to enhance periods when you're apart.
Masturbation is a supplement to intercourse, rather than a replacement, in many healthy sexual relationships. Besides being extremely safe, sharing your masturbation techniques can be an intimate and productive step. It can, however, be a difficult subject broach with a partner; many people fear that their partner will interpret it as a form of rejection. But those who progressed past this point with their partners almost invariably report having very satisfactory sex lives.
Anyone in a healthy sexual relationship wants above all to please the other person. Showing or telling your partner what you like is one of the quickest routes to this goal, and should in turn provide more pleasure for both of you. Discussing these issues with your partner should prevent any feelings of awkwardness or inadequacy. Instruct your partner and try yourself to be open to instruction. Discovering how your partner reaches orgasm alone can be invaluable when you are attempting please them.
It may be intimidating at first, but masturbating in front of your partner is not only highly erotic; it is a way of sharing the most intimate and personal of activities. In this sense sharing masturbation can be an act of love rather than one of rejection.
This is rather specialised as it depends on how gregarious you are and whether you enjoy being a 'voyeur' as well as a participant. For those who do enjoy it then the important things are . One that the WHOLE groups joins in. There is nothing worse than one or two people sitting watching the participants.
. If you are part of a single sex group then make sure that you are comfortable and can see the rest of the group. The enjoyment is not only in YOU but the pleasure of watching the other members of the group also enjoying the sensations. You will aslo find that each has their own way of fetching themselves to a climax and it may offer pointers to you yourself for new ideas.
More information can be found in the 'Please a Man' and 'Please a Woman' pages which can be accessed from the buttons below.
Thanks are due to the following sites which I recommend strongly for follow up reading