Men and Women new to Spanking
and Bondage often find that the terminology is difficult to grasp
as it seems to change from event to event. Before anything else I
will attempt to define the main names used in Spanking, Bondage
and SM so that you are aware to what I am referring before
starting these pages:
The Scene - A term often used to embrace
all of spanking, bondage and sado masochism and the activities
associated with them by participating members. It sets the
'parameters' around the 20-25% of the population who are
interested in spanking, or participates.
Top or Spanker - This is the name used
for the controller of a session. In spanking this usually means
the person who is doing the spanking
Bottom or Spankee - This is the person
whose 'bottom' is being spanked.
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Dominant - This can be either sex but is
the controller of the situation. If it is a man it is often
abbreviated to
'dom' while if a woman
'domme'
Submissive - Again can be either sex but
is the person being controlled. It is often abbreviated to
'sub'
Master - Male Spankers often use this
when advertising but strictly it belongs to a Master/Slave
relationship. As an example The Disciplinarian is a spanker but was
Master Prospero when 'owning' a slave
Mistress - Again used by dominant ladies
who advertise their offices as female spankers, who may also own dungeons, and often
dress in leather. They also use more extreme 'discipline'
than the conventional spanker.
Master and Mistress with Slave - Here is where we get into even more complexities. It is a relationship which is
spiritual and mental as well as physical. It does not have to
include physical punishment as the Master/Mistress and the
Slave can live many miles apart. (One slave of mine moved to the US but still remained my slave and was controlled by me. She was allowed to be punished on my instructions by US Masters!) Masters and Mistresses
OWN their slave. It may include almost any activity and
frequently Slaves are branded to 'lock' them to their
Master. Essentially the Master/Mistress takes total domination of
the Slave; and the Slave is completely subservient to the Master
and has no independent will of their own. "
See Letters from a sub
/div>
I must make one point.clear Spanking,
Bondage and SM is for ALL - men spankers and women spankees;
women spankers and men spankees; gay and lesbian; top and bottom;
'doms' and 'subs'. In fact every permutation of
adults
It is not suitable for children or youmg
adults under 18 years of age! My preferred age group for spanking
and bondage is 25 years old to any age.
I will nail my colours to the
mast. I am a male 'dom' and spank women of all ages. I
will therefore normally in these notes stick to the man as the
'spanker', top or 'dom' and woman as the
'spankee', bottom or 'sub' because I understand
it best and also to avoid the trap of causing confusion. Where it
may differ will be obvious in any example I quote by physical
imperatives.This however is a 'convention' and all my
comments can be taken to apply to any combination of
'spanker' - 'spankee' or 'dom' -
'sub'
Spankees come in all shapes
and sizes but for the spanker it is the physical bottom<
/b> that matter. Included in the slideshow at the top are
examples of a ladies bottom which are perfect for spanking.
The cheeks are already rosy where a vigorous handspanking (and
some 'light' caning has been used) but it is the shape
and size which are important
Ladies of all shapes and sizes enjoy being spanked but for the
spanker 'aficionado' the superb fleshy, well-padded
rounded bottom is the ideal for the spanker. I prefer working
with 'mature' women for this reason and rarely accept
clients who are under 25 years of age (discrimination - yes - but
usually any younger and their bodies are still maturing and
experience proves they are not ready ready for prolonged
spanking.
A mature bottom allows for plenty of action over the surface and
will offer the perfect target for pain and pleasure. Done
correctly it will never damage the spankee but add to their
pleasure
Go to the various pages in the menu and find out the best
instruments; the ideal position; how much and how often; how to
use all the instruments as well as examples and pictures.
Another important point is the main spanking groups (not bondage
but just spanking) and I find that all offer their own
challenges.
The three groups are:
Spanking - This is the first action which is offered. A
client visits and her bottom is spanked both over her dress,
knickers and on the bare bottom. They come are spanked and leave.
This maybe an experiment to decide whether they enjoy the
physical aspects of spanking. Some will return while for others
they have satisfied their curiosity!
Erotic Spanking - Here clients find that the spanking is
not enough and that their erotic instincts are aroused. This is
usually found when massaging during spanking their legs part
offering access to their pussy. In this case the pussy is
frequently already wet with spend!
Disciplinary Spanking - In this case a client, frequently
a high flying executive, feels the need to hand over control and
be punished for some misdemeanor. It maybe they have disciplined
a junior unfairly and it preys on their mind. Here they need to
'purge' their guilt and physical punishment is an
excellent way to do this. There visit is usually a 'one
off' leaving satisfied but with a painful bottom!
Erotic and Disciplinary Spanking together - This is a more
complex group. Frequently the client visits for punishment and
then finds that besides the pain there is an erotic
'charge' which goes beyond the pain. This group of
clients frequently enjoy moving from being erotically spanked and
their pussy played with to going over the back of a chair and
being strapped or caned hard to fulfill them!
There is no right or wrong way
when dealing with clients - it is up to the spanker to find the
method which suits the client. It is always the client who is
right!
Whatever you want to know about SPANKING and
BONDAGE these pages offer suitable help! I do add a short section
on Sado Masochism (SM) but, having no experience or interest, I
leave it to the specialists. I quote books that you may wish to
read if you find the subject interesting.
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WARNING
For ladies interested in being SPANKED I would
strongly advise against contacting potential spankers in Chat
Rooms or Personals. These often lead to heartache and even
physical and mental damage as many of the authors have no
experience or even knowledge of Spanking or Bondage and are just
out for a 'cheap thrill'.
However I am not the only Spanker and reputable
ones can be found online
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Before you go further with anybody for
Spanking,Bondage or SM go to
SAFEWORD
where a full explanation is given as to its reasons and use!
.
To find out about suitable partners we can strongly recommend
The Adult Hub. Here you will find suitable partners of
all ages and both sexes. Browse their website with 'no
obligation' and if you are happy the proceed. Good luck!
