INTRODUCTION to Disciplinary Spanking

This is the follow-up to Erotic Spanking. It is impossible to explain rationally the need to be spanked but, experience has shown, that for many ladies there appears to be a need. They need to hand over control of their bodies to an outsider for domination. This is where Disciplinary Spanking starts

As they explore the Internet they find my sites and reading my examples, information and stories appears to have an erotic effect which creates the urge to try 'reality' spanking and it is this I set out to satisfy.

Men have always had their 'dommes' who thrash and humiliate them at £175 per hour. In ladies it has been sublimated and, although feeling the need to be beaten (as opposed to being 'played with), have had few opportunities to indulge it. After all 'Spanking Clubs' are mens' preserves where the only ladies have been subs paid substantial sums to be beaten.

Several years ago while visiting a spanking club I was concerned about the way the subs were being treated. many of the men had no concept of how and where to spank and frequently the girls were marked in the wrong place. I also found that ladies put themselves in harms way by contacting men on the internet 'chat' lines and risking damage by going to rendevous with men who had no knowledge or experience of spanking. In one example a lady who later visited me went to a hotel with a man for caning and was badly hurt. The man became frightened and cried saying he had never spanked anybody before and would never do so again. It was the 'fantasy' which had encouraged him ! I have now rehabiitated the lady with a long relaxed sensual spanking and you can read her email below.

After this beginning I created my website 'The Disciplinarian' to advise on all forms of spanking. Since starting 'The Disciplinarian' 25 years ago I have had a large correspondence and an increasing number of ladies who wish to be spanked in a 'safe' environment where the spanker is out to satisfy the needs of the lady, not his own. I have been amazed at the way requests to me have grown and in the past 20 - 30 years I have had many visitors, some for one session and others who visit on a regular basis. I also receive many requests for help and advice from ladies and couples who cannot visit. I have also been able to guide ladies who want to try the 'reality' of spanking before asking their husband/partner.
To make sure I understood everything myself I spent two years 'switching' (although I am not a 'switch' by inclination) with two experienced submissives who taught me about both giving and receiving the hand and all the instruments.
One of my absolute rules when anybody visits is that "nothing happens that you don't want to happen but I am in charge and we will travel as far along the spanking route as you are comfortable with.". This policy has worked well over time and ladies who are timid on their first experience often enjoy experimenting on later visits. One other very useful addition I have found is offering telephone calls. This allows any lady who MAY want to visit to talk to me in complete anonimity and ask any questions they wish, some also find talking through a spanking erotic in its own right.

This why I call this section Disciplinary Spanking as it goes farther, and more intimately, than the original Erotic Spank concept!. I now develop the theme.

Who needs Spanking?

This 'need' shows up in ladies of all ages and I have enquiries from ladies aged 17 - 70 years, However the majority appear to be from 35 upwards - an age when they appear to have more freedom to express themselves and can act to satisfy their own needs. One of the most important things is to ensure that ladies of all ages and sizes can visit. The two questions I am most often asked are "What ages do you take?" and "I am a rather large lady is that OK?" .As to age I prefer 'mature ladies over 25 years as by now they know their own mind and are prepared to explore their 'sexuality' Other than that all that is required is the wish to be spanked and a 'willing' bottom ready for whatever it receives.

The other question is "What do you charge?". I charge NOTHING, that is correct my service is FREE. I used to charge when I visited but now as you need to visit me with the cost of petrol or rail travel I charge nothing as I want you to enjoy my services.

These needs manifest themselves in many ways. For some the actual spanking is enough but for others 'play' is part of the experience they crave. For some a short hard spanking is sufficient while for others a long session with lots of spanking and play is preferable. I try to deal with both. For me it is important that they have absolute trust in me sure that I will NEVER go beyond their limits.

The actual examples below are genuine recent ones which show different facets of spanking and also the total trust that must exist between the spanker and spankee.
If that 'magic' relationship is achieved then spanking is an experience which can give the ultimate in 'pain and pleasure'.

Following on from what I wrote above this is spanking which is designed to allow the natural erotic instincts in most ladies who are interested in spanking to be developed as far as they wish.
For many ladies, especially those who have ready my stories in, Spanking-Stories 1 find that they match with their own instincts. Many ladies who contact me say that they often masturbate while reading, or after finishing, a story. This is the instinct which draws them to trying spanking for themselves.
Will the 'reality' be as pleasurable as the 'fantasy'?
Experience show that for many it is, although for a small minority 'reality' is a failure and they just continue to get their thrills from the 'fantasy' of the stories. As the examples below show though for many it opens up a new world of pleasure for them.

In this section I am going to take you through from the start the way I develop a sensuous spanking session

Before the visit. It all begins when the lady telephones me to make an appointment. Here we discuss generally her needs and my approach and we then set up a time and date for her visit to me. Let me establish here that ladies visit me on a CONFIDENTIAL basis and all I request is a Christian name. When the time and date have been agreed I recommend that they should dress in bra, panties or 'g' string, suspender belt and stockings. They should wear a dress with a wide skirt. If they prefer to travel in trousers they should change on arrival. Finally as many of my visitors are middle aged and well built I point out that size is not important but interest in spanking and being spanked is the only criteria. On Arrival The arrival of my visitor (let us call her Anne) is always fraught as she has doubts: I do not know her and we both have to make contact quickly. When Anne enters the first thing I say to her is that "Welcome! Please understand that you are now under my control but nothing will happen that you don't wish to happen. Subject to that you are in my hands. Do you understand and agree." Once Anne has agreed we sit down and have a cup of tea and a chat. I try to find out how she has found she had an interest in spanking, etc. Often the answer is that her husband is not interested but she has reached the 'menopause' her children are now at secondary school, or grown up and she wants to see whether the stories she has read on my website and made her so wet really do what they say. Tea and sympathy was finished and now we began ! I sat in the middle of my long settee and Anne spread herself across my body and along the settee with her head tucked into some cushions and her bottom in front of me. I started stroking her bottom over her dress and almost immediately she tucked herself deep in. Now I started spanking - gently at first and then harder I spanked while massaging. After a few minutes Anne was so relaxed that it was time to lift her dress. This exposed her bottom. It was covered with black silk lacy knickers and a similar lack lacy suspender belt held up her stockings. Even under this her soft bum cheeks felt warm and and were the perfect size for spanking. Slightly harder and slightly faster I spanked and she gasped a little as even through her knickers she was beginning to feel the sting. My massaging brought a purr from her and "Beautiful" as she wriggled like a cat. It was clear that she was enjoying the experience. Now I spent several minutes with hard, soft and fast, slow all the time making sure to massage her bottom. Soon it was time to draw the knickers into her bum cheks so that her bum cheeks were bare. At the same time I drew them in I also pulled on them so that her pussy lips were being rubbed by the gusset. By now her bottom was red and again she gasped as my hand met her bare bottom for the first time. The "SMACK" as it landed drew a response but she still remained still as I now peppered her bare buttocks with my hand. The cheeks were getting very red and I gave them plenty of massage. Now she was ready for her knickers to come down and as I eased my fingers inside the waistband so she lifted herself a little to help me. I pushed them to the ground and her bum was exposed in all its glory. Uncovered she had large well shaped bum cheeks with dimples either side which flexed as she waited for me. Her thighs were firm but not too thick and her well formed calves led down to sharply ankles and feet. I began to spank again for about fifty strokes before I began to massage. Now I gently moved my fingers to the inside of her thighs and massaged and caressed there. As I did show she parted her legs. I went back to spanking and massaging. Now I as I massaged the inside of her thighs my fingers strayed higher. This was the test and Anne spread her legs wider. As I touched I felt her oozing spend between her thighs. I felt her quicken and her legs parted even further. I was not ready yet and so went back to spanking for about fifty more strokes. It was clear that she was enjoying the spanking and play and was eager for me to explore further. I massaged again and this time moved my fingers down the crack between her bum cheeks past her anus and to the edge of her pussy. I ran my thumb down several time and she was eagerly waiting . But it was more spanking to rouse her libido even higher. This time after caressing I let my fingers touch her pussy and hunt up her clitoris. It was firm and already aroused. She drew in her breath as I touched and cried out with pleasure - but it was still not time to let her orgasm. I spanked again and again. Her bum looked a little sore but she was still eager for more. I drew my thumb down her bum crack and as I did so I felt her anus flexing. I added a condom to my index finger and covered it with KG jelly. I gently eased the finger inside her anus and she squeezed the cushion as she tried to stop crying out. My finger slid in deeper and I drew it in and out faster and faster as she bucked under me. I removed my fingers and took off the condom before taking a rest. Now I made her stand in front of me and remove her skirt. As she did so immediately in front of me I saw her engorged pussy lips peeping through her dark pubic bush. She looked down as I unfastened the left suspender and rolled her stocking down and off. Next I removed the right stocking before finally unfastening her suspender belt. She was naked from the waist down but had no inhibitions and was clearly proud of her figure. I sat back on the settee and she lay back in the crook of my arm relaxing. I fondled her pussy as we chatted about what had happened to-date. She said that it was even better than she had expected and she was waiting for the next part. I warned her that she could only orgasm when I allowed her to do so. Erotic spanking was a balance between pain and pleasure and it was the two elements together which made the perfect session. Now it was time to start again and this time I blindfolded her and made her bend over the back of a chair with her legs wide apart. I gave her two dozen had spanks to warm her bottom up again before taking up a strap. "CRACK" it landed across both bum cheeks and the sting made her rear up and squeal. I told her to get down and lashed the strap down five more times before I slid my fingers deep into her sopping pussy. She bucked as I moved them in and out and then I told her she could cum. She backed on my fingers and I felt her hot wet spend cover my fingers as she shuddered to a climax. I removed my fingers and promised her that this was the first of many. I now told her to remove her blouse and brassiere as I wanted her naked. She had no hesitation in unfastening the buttons of her blouse and sliding it off her shoulders she lay it on the back of the chair. I saw that her brassiere was similar to the rest of her underclothes and I went behind her and unfastened it. it slipped off her shoulders and her full breasts were exposed. As I slipped her brassiere off so I caressed her breasts and felt the engorged nipples. She turned round and I saw her breasts were well formed and the dark aureoles surrounding her nipples were a perfect match. I sent her back over the chair back and this time I knew she was eager and ready so gave her two dozen sharp strokes with the strap across her bum. Now she was beginning to feel the full pain and pleasure combination so I brought her back over my knee and massaged her hot sore bum before using my fingers on her pussy. I told her to orgasm when she was ready and again it was a massive release which sent her cum across my fingers. I then took my vibrating anal dildo and after covering with KG Jelly I slid it into her anus. She lifted against it crying out with pleasure and I sought out her pussy with my fingers. Orgasm after orgasm ensued before she collapsed gasping. Again we stopped and sat back on the settee with Anne in the crook of my arm. I played with her pussy and breasts as she told me that she had been needing this and what was to follow. I told her to wait. We then repaired to my office at the other side of the bungalow and here I had my spanking bench already in place. I told Anne to bend over it and fastened her legs to the side uprights so that they were spread wide. I explained that now we were going to test her fortitude. I took up the strap and brought it across both buttocks with a "CRACK". It rose and fell two dozen times more before I massaged her bottom cheeks. I felt between her legs and slid my fingers inside her vagina paying with her 'g' spot. She reared and bucked but I stopped and again two more dozen with the strap before again another break. We returned to the settee and I suggested that after another handspanking I would massage her bum with baby oil to ease the sting and then it would be time to finish. We did so and then Anne dressed and got ready to leave for home. She gave me a quick peck on the cheeks and said. "When I came I didn't know what to expect and I was very worried but throughput it has been perfect. I never believed that sensual spanking could be so erotic. Thank you again and strangely I knew that I could trust you. I will give you a call in a month or so to come again." I later received an email from Anne which I shall print in full to show you how one lady responded. Sir, It has now been twenty four hours since I visited you and as I sit on my sore bottom at the computer I thought I would like to give you a few comments on my visit. Firstly I must say that I was very apprehensive when I arrived and you said that I would be under your control. Would you take advantage of me and I must admit that rape went through my mind. I need not have worried as at no time were you anything but courteous and gentle and, as you led me through the two hour session, I found that I never had any feeling that you would go beyond what I wished. Now to the session. I cannot do justice to the pleasure I received -as well as the pain. My husband and I have not been intimate for several years and even when we were I never had orgasms. In fact reading your stories I thought that you exaggerated and they were a myth. Now I know differently and HOW ! From the time you started spanking me to the time I left I found that I had what can only be called a 'rolling system' of orgasms which went from the first one as your fingers entered me for the first time until the massive final climax after the strapping across the bench. I enjoyed the way that you gradually built me up and the way you held me from coming until YOU decided was magical. The way you switched from hand spanking to the strap and back again also gave the pain and pleasure you promised. Never too much of the first and plenty of the second. I also was surprised when we rested and I lay back naked in the crook of your arm.Although you played with me it was never in a way which frightened me. I am rambling on like a schoolgirl who has found a new toy but felt I had to tell you "Thank you for your time and expertise which sends me hope that I am now entering a new era of sensuality and as I read you stories I will understand what the ladies are feeling. I will definitely be coming again but it will probably be a month before I can visit but meanwhile I may call you for a telephone spanking to remind me of the pleasure I have had. Best wishes and I hope all your visitors have the same pleasure I have had. Anne (Since then Anne has been several more times!)

This is an example of a lady who visited me last weekend. I will call her June June had driven about 120 miles to get to me for her spanking and arrived at 9pm. I had spoken to her on the telephone so new that she was open-minded and wanted me to develop the program for her. When she arrived I gave her the usual greeting that "From now on you are under my control BUT nothing will happen that you don't want to happen but I will take you as far along the way as you wish to go. Do you agree. She smiled and agreed. She had already told me that she was rather large and I had told her that size was no criteria only the wish to be spanked. We went into the lounge and I took her over my knee and started handspanking over her dress. I continued this for several minutes before lifting the dress and spanking over her knickers. She was beginning to enjoy herself and I soon drew in her knickers and spanked her bare bum cheeks. Now it was time to lower her knickers and these were soon shucked off her feet before I began working again this time on her totally bare bum. The cheeks were reddening nicely and she wa stretching as she enjoyed herself. I drew her her nearside leg towards me so that her legs were parted and soon began to massage her bum and the inside of her thighs. As my fingers explored I felt that the top her her thighs were already wet and between spanking I explored further. She gasped as my fingers found her clitty and I began to rub it. More spanking as orgasms were on MY terms and then I told her to stand up and remove her skirt. After coming back over my knees I explored again and found that her interior was wet through. She moaned with pleasure as my fingers went deeper. More handspanking and massage before I continued my exploration and I felt her buck against my fingers. It was time for her first orgasm and with a dozen thrusts I brought her to a climax. We rested for several minutes. here I wpuld usually have taken her to the spanking bench but she was too large so I told her to lay face down on the bed. She did so with her head in the pillow and her legs parted. I took up a strap and spanked her across her soft bum cheeks. Not to hard but two dozen strokes again aroused her and I saw her fingers searching under her body for her pussy. I spanked her again and used my own to give her another orgasm. I looked at the clock by the bed and well over an hour had passed since we started. Now it was time for more of the strap and then the cane. Not hard but a dozen strokes which stung but did not mark. She was bucking again and was ready for my fingersand she came to a shuddering climax. She lay still and I lay, fully dressed beside her. I told her to turn over and part her legs and when she was on her back I spanked her pussy two dozen times with my hand. This brought cries of pleasure and more wriggling. Again it was time for a rest and we lay there relaxed as she rested. We were like this for about a quarter of an hour before I began again. Now it was more strap and cane and my hand until she was again bucking and lifting her body off the bed with pleasure. I fondled her nipples which stood out like nuts and this seemed to give her more pleasure again. Again we rested and then she was face down fore the strap and the cane. Lots and lots of soft gentle ones to stimulate not to hurt followed by more pussy spanking and the introduction of my vibrator. This brought even more climaxes as I reamed it in and out of her pussy going deep and shallow. She was weeping with pleasure now and was on a permanent 'high' as the erotic pleasures rolled over her. Finally we had to finish as it was midnight and,before she left she made me stand in front of her, She lowered my trousers and underpants. Kneeling in front of me she took my rigid cock in her mouth and sucked me dry. A fulfilling experience for both of us. I took her into the lounge and lay her across my knees before rubbing baby oil into her buttocks to ease the journey home. I had fulfilled my responsibilities and given June the maximum pleasure during the three hours she was with me. Here is the unsolicited email I received from June yesterday. Hi Alan, Thank you very much for what you did for me on Friday night, my bum has just about recovered!!! I didn't want to stay all night, anyway I couldn't, I had to get home for my daughter. I didn't mean to be rude or selfish, but I really did only come to you for punishment. You gave me exactly what I wanted, and what I have longed for for years. I intended to play with myself, if you allowed me of course, while you spanked and strapped me. So you fingering me and using the vibrator was a bonus. Thank you once again. I have obviously never been in a situation like that before, so I wasn't quite sure how to behave, or if I could speak without being spoken to. What happened next was spontaneous. Relief at knowing I still enjoyed spanking made me want to offer you a gift. No money but, I hope pleasure! I hope that you enjoyed our 'finale'. I have never sucked a man before and was not sure whether I would enjoy the experience but I felt I must offer you some recognition of the pleasure you had given me. I could tell that you were surprised when I lowered your trousers and took your cock in my mouth. Noe the exploration for me! How much should I take in? Should I suck or just use my tongue ? maybe I should rub at the same time I had a job releasing it from your underpants it was so hard and I could tell could tell it was raring to go. I soon found that I was getting pleasure myself from the sucking and rubbing and was shocked at the final response. I had not anticipated so much of a discharge filling my mouth but spluttering enjoyed it. Next visit we must take more time 'pleasuring' each other. I will want the cane HARDER as well. I think that I cold have taken more. Once again Alan, I am very grateful for your help. June.

Anne had never been spanked but she telephoned me on Wednesday to ask me about visiting. At the same time she asked me to 'talk her through' would happen if she came. I took her through what would happen if she visited and it soon became obvious that she was already aroused just listening to me and I heard at lest two orgasms at the other end of the telephone. She explained that it would probably be three weeks before she could visit but would get back to me with a date in the next few days. An hour later the telephone rang and it was Anne saying she couldn't wait so could she come on Friday. She would arrive late afternoon as she had a long drive but she very excited at the possibilities. She trusted me and would leave herself completely in my hands. Anne arrived on time looking very nervous but excited. As she came through the door she said "I am so looking forward to this evening" Here was a lady who came in a receptive mood but I must be careful. When somebody has such expectations on their first visit it is important that I don't spoil their day. This is the moment of truth when their expectations are fulfilled - or dashed. Anne went into my spare room to change out of her slacks into a skirt and blouse - the recommended dress for spanking. She returned from changing smiling and eager. I sat on the sofa and told her to go across my knees. She lay down with her head in the cushions at one end and her bottom in front of me. I started spanking over her skirt and she soon relaxed as I spanked for several minutes. As I spanked we chatted and it was obvious that she was enjoying herself. I asked her how she felt and she gave a long 'humm' of approval. Now came the first test as I lifted her skirt and she felt the cool air as her knickers were exposed. They were black lace knickers with loose legs. (here is where the doubts creep in - if there are any. She made no reaction and my hands fell across her knickers. Now the spanking was harder and she felt it more but she was obviously enjoying it. I was spanking for several minutes before I drew her knickers into her bum crack. Now her red bum cheeks were bare and there was more sound as I spanked away. As I did so I pulled her knickers into her buttocks so that they rubbed against her pussy . I put my fingers inside the waistband of her knickers and gently eased them down over her buttocks. Anne lifted her body and helped me lower them down her legs and off her feet. Her buttocks were now completely exposed and already showing a warm blush and before spanking I massaged them for several minutes. Then I spanked hard and soft, fast and slow watching her bum turn first a light red and the a deeper hue. Now as I spanked and massaged I gently spanked the inside of her thighs and also massaged them. As I did so I drew my fingers down the crack of her bum. More spanking and I began to explore the inside of her thighs gently easing them apart. Anne offered me greater access spreading her legs and I touched her pussy lips. These were already wet but I was going to spank even harder and longer before I did any more exploration. Five more minutes of spanking showed Anne even more aroused and I slid my fingers through the pussy lips into the warm wet interior and finding her clitty I rubbed it rapidly and Anne bucked and cried out before arching her body and crashing down gasping with pleasure. I stopped and we sat and talked for several minutes about spanking and her dreams and needs. She told me that she wanted to explore my 'pleasure and pai' mantra and see how far she could go. After a drink and chat I told Anne to remove the rest of her clothes and go to the bedroom and lay on her stomach with her legs widely parted. (this where TRUST is everything) When I arrived with the instruments she was lying as instructed and after touching her and massaging her buttocks I used my leg-spreader to keep her legs from coming together, I took my lightweight strap and began to spank. One dozen, two dozen, three dozen before I stopped. No heavy punishment but plenty of play strapping. I used my fingers to explore her pussy and soon found that she was eager to accept my fingers as I plunged them deeply home. Her legs parted wider and her buttocks flexed as a dozen thrusts brought her to a climax. Now it was the cane and again i used it all the way down from her back to her buttocks. gently at first on her back but then slightly harder as I reached her buttocks. I dozen sharper strokes made her squeal with pleasure and my fingers brought to another climax. Anne lay gasping with pleasure as she rested for twenty minutes with her eyes shut and relaxed breathing. This is the way to give pleasure when spanking, lots of little dynamic sessions with periods of rest. . I remove the leg-spreader and told Anne to kneel up and show me her buttocks. She did so and I spread them so I could test her anus after applying some gel to my finger. She gasped as my finger breached her tight rosette. She was tight at first but soon sound that thee fingerscould enter and offer a new pleasure. I gave her three dozen with my hand across both buttocks. I then told her to lay on her back with her legs apart and I spanked her pussy two dozen times before again using my fingers for a further orgasm. Time had no meaning for, as with all my sessions, 'it takes as long as it takes' and again we had a break with this time Anne lying on her back with her legs loose and spread as she relaxed. This too me was the best thing of all. Anne had come to find out and was obviously nervous when she arrived but was now ready for anything. We lay back on my bed for several minutes before I again spanked with my hands and then with the strap. I then introduced her wet pussy to a vibrating dildo. Anne had never tried one and once it was deep inside her she bucked and cried with pleasure. She gasped to her climax and then fell back. It is impossible to detail everything but finished with me massaging some baby oil into her buttocks and giving her a final climax.. As she left she confirmed that she would be calling for a 'telephone' spanking as a reminder and would be returning in a fortnight or so. Here are further Disciplinary Examples I have only just been given permission by the parties concerned to quote the example which involves how I worked with a leasbian couple so I am putting it on a special page Avril and Anthea. Just click on the names to go to that page.