Who Spanks Who and Why

Any website about spanking needs to define the different types of people involved. There are several groupings

• The Professional Spanker of Ladies of which I am one. We may or may not be paid for our services but we spank bottoms on request.. I specialise in ladies but some men also spank men. They are people who know how to spank and when to stop. They treat the experience ins a 'profesional' manner so that their client 'enjoys' the experience. This does not mean that they may cane or strap hard vry hard sometimes but it is always within the area of 'request of the person being spanked.
• The 'dom' This is a dominant man who flogs bums whether male or female. His role is much more that of a Headmaster who is punishing for discipline. he e will use the fierces instruments and cause considerable pain to his spankee! He has a place as many men, especially ex public schoolboys enjoy this experienc and retuen on a regular basis..He is quite happy to draw blood if this suits his 'victim' . Few women visit him.and in many, albeit not all cases, it is 'fetish'
• The 'domme' or 'Mistress' is a 'dominant woman'. These ladies are control freaks who work with men and women who are into into BDSM. She often has a 'dungeon', dresses in leather and again offers the 'sadistic' end of the spectrum. Again this is mainly for men visitors who like to be flogged. There are even more extreme mistresses. I once had a man visit me who had been 'turned out' by his two mistresses. He needed a beating and when he removed his trousers he was still wearing the male 'chastity belt he had worn in the home for TEN YEARS. I only saw him the one time as I am not into spanking men.
• The 'sub' or 'submissive' can be either male or female. Normally their relationship is that of being under the control of the 'dom' they visit or live with. The relationship is within strict rules which do not allow for anything which will harm or damage the 'sub'. No problem with hard spanking, following instructions, corner time etc but the relationship should at all times be civilised
• The 'slave and Master' relationship. This is an extremely difficult one to explain. The Master is is TOTAL and absolute control of his slave. The slave has no free will but lives to follow the orders of the master. These can be degrading or even dangerous at times. Branding and tattooing is not uncommon nor is extreme bondage and mummifying.. It need not always be bad however. For a more civil relationship read Letters from a Slave to Her Master. Tthis relationship can be at long range with occassional meetings or 24/7 depending on circumstances.
• Finally we come to the 'Switch'. This is somebody who both enjoys spanking and being spanked. There are a number of people like this who find a satisfaction in, after spanking being the recipient of the hand or strap. Although I am not one of these I was involved as a spankee in my early experiences as a Spanker I learned the use of all the instruments my lady partner who could be 'sub' or 'domme' insisted that must UNDERSTAND - and the only way to understand was to receive as well as give! It meant that I had to submit to the hand, strap and cane myself. I did not enjoy the experience but found it invaluable in my career as a spanker as I was able to read the mind and feelings of my spankees. Only when you have bent over and waited for the third stroke of the cane while saying to yourself "This will be the last" when it lands and sears your bum you continue to wait again saying "This will..................!!!" but in the end the strokes continue until the spanker decides to stop.

Who wants to be spanked at the level I offer? These are ladies of all ages, sizes, married or single, with or without partners, lesbian or hetrosexual . For some who have read stories including from my website spankingstories it is finding out whether they enjoy it; for others, usually seniors with stressful jobs, it is the chance to be dominated and have control removed from them for a short time; others know they enjoy the thrill of being spanked and want to explore their erotic feelings (see below). For a small group it is a fantasy which sadly fails when it becomes a reality and pain intervenes. Just here are many different kinds of ladies so there are many ages.. I take none younger than 25 years and my oldest was over 70 years - all I ask is that they WANT to be spanked.

In the next few sections and pages I will be advising you on ways to spank,
All my comments are based on the man being the 'spanker' - in other words the 'top' and his partner, the lady, being the 'spankee'or the 'bottom'. All are also based on my own practical experience. Nothing I suggest will be theory but tried and tested in practice. All my pictures are from my own clients who have given permission for them to be used.and they are for real!

The first question to be decided is what it is you require Erotic Spanking;Punishment Spanking ;or a mixture of the two. This will decide your approach and the instruments you should use.
Let me first explain briefly the difference between the three scenarios.
Before I do caveats to potential 'spankees'.

• Do make sure of three things before you contemplate being involved in spanking.
• * The first question is 'Are you sure you WANT to be spanked?' or is it just a fantasy. I have met both in my time.
• * The second is that if you decide spanking is for you then make sure that your partner enjoys spanking - many do not - and find it embarrassing when asked.
• * There is a SAFE WORD which will allow you to stop the action immediately if you are not happy.! (more about that later)

Erotic Spanking

This is where the participants wish to use Spanking as part of their foreplay leading (probably) to sex! It is built on the development of my 'pain and pleasure;pleasure and pain' philosophy. Small amounts of pain will stimulate and, in my experience, enhance the pleasure of the 'spankee' and soon show suitable results!

Punishment Spanking

This is entirely different and the sole use is to inflict pain on the 'spankee'. This may be in a home situation where the' spankee' has done something which really deserves discipline, or in some cases I have used it with executives who find that they need to be exposed to pain and humiliation outside their usual environment.

Erotic/Disciplinary Spanking mixed

This is a fascinating area for the Professional Spanker and offers many opportunities for couples to interact. It needs to be treated very carefully as it can lead to unforseen consequences. I always tell my spankees I will take you as far along the spanking path as you wish to go but will stop and any poit you may wish me to cease! Usually it starts with a standard hand spanking and then develops its own momentum OR conversely it starts with discipline and the 'spankee' finds that the pain NEEDS some relief- which maybe obtained erotically.

All of these will be dealt with in much more detail in the rest of the pages.on 'How to Spank'. You can see the links to using the various instruments below.

Finally in this introductory section you should remember. NEVER EVER SPANK IN ANGER. This is the way to cause damage to the 'spankee'!

In this section I want to takes the place of a woman who finds she wants, or feels the need, to be spanked.but has no partner and I will set out a typical scenario from the first indication in her mind. Obviously much of this is hypothetical as I am NOT a woman but, after many conversations with visitors, I hope it covers much of the initial progression.

This lady who we will call Alice lives on her own and, when checking the internet, she comes across Spanking websites such as The Disciplinarian which offers pictures of Spanking as well as stories. These interest the lady enough to investigate further and, again checking the internet she finds a number of men offering to spank ladies.

This is where it becomes trickier as she is now in a very private world where references are not usually available. She contacts one of the numbers (remembering NOT to give out her own telephone number)to find out more about the person she is talking to. Try to find out if he spanks on a regular basis, will he come to you or you go to him. Never agree to a hotel. Arrange a first meeting at a neutral venue where you can talk through what might happen. If he is genuine you will soon find out by asking what happens. The genuine Spanker will have lots of ways of working with ladies and will quote examples, while the novice has little experience and 'waffles'. Avoid the latter as they can hurt you through lack of knowledge, or because for them it is a 'turn on', and the pain of the woman is part of their pleasure.

We now assume that you have agreed a visit (to him or you) and a fee has been agreed. A fee is not unusual as professional submissive ladies will charge men £150 -£200 for a 1-2-1 spanking session of an hour.

He is visiting you and he arrives on time bringing the 'tools of his trade'. You have a short chat and a drink. The next hurdle is the 'SAFE WORD'. This is the key moment for both of you. If he does not offer you one then beware as the 'SAFE WORD' is the MAGIC word which stops all action between you. The word can be anything you would not normally say "RED", "BANANA". "FESTIVAL" the word can be anything which would not be normal in a spanking. While being spanked ladies often ask for' harder' or to 'stop' these are words with the scenario which can be ignored. The 'SAFE WORD' is without and MUST be obeyed. A genuine Professional Spanker will ask you to suggest one, or offer one himself. The novice spanker will not think of it.

Why is the 'SAFE WORD' important? It allows the lady to stop the action at any point. She may be frightened at the intensity of what is happening, she may decide spanking is not for her. or possibly the spanker is hurting her. Whatever the reason this is her 'safety valve'.upon which all action ceases. If you are paying for the session then it is a matter of negotiation as to any refund.

A final warning is that unless you have met a spanker for several sessions do not allow Bondage - no handcuffs, blindfolds, leg-spreaders,or ropes. These are for a safe environment when you are comfortable with your partner.

One other tip is to give a close friend a warning that you will call them at a given time to show all is OK. Only a short message is needed "Hi Mary! Everything is fine!" for example.

You are now comfortable, although tense - after all you are now going into the unknown! I liked my ladies to be wearing wide skirts and stockings but NO trousers and NO tights. When a session starts you want as little distraction as possible and standing up after several minutes to remove trousers or tights ruins the continuity of the experience and breaks the flow. Your spankee should be deep into relaxation by now and standing or wriggling to remove trousers or tights breaks this flow.

The good spanker will use a settee and have the lady across his knees (as in the picture at the top) allowing him perfect access to her bottom and her to relax along the settee. He then starts spanking. over her dress. Softly at first. One cheek and then the other. As he spanks so he massages. There will be little reaction at present as the lady can scarcely felt the spanks but the very fact that she is being spanked and nothing unpleasant is happening allows her to gradually relax.

N.B. For spanking the spanker sitting on a chair and the spankee over their lap is NOT recommended as the position is not conducive to relaxation or for a long session. This for showing on Video or picture but not for real.

Continue like this for several minutes and then lift the dress from the hem up and onto her back so that her knickers are exposed. If done correctly the reaction will be minimal. Just the feeling of coolness as the dress is raised. Continue spanking over her knickers. fast, slow, slow fast, hard, soft, soft hard. vary the spanks while at the same time gently massaging. Why massaging? This prevents bruising and is also slightly erotic. By now the reactions of the lady will be clear to the spanker and he then decides whether to continue his progress by drawing her knickers into her bum crack and spanking on her bare bum cheeks.

If the signs are positive and the lady is enjoying the experience then he can remove the knickers and continue spanking on the bare buttocks. he should now spank harder although making sure that it is his hand that spanks NOT the fingers. Now the decision must be made as to whether to continue. For many ladies the hand-spanking will be adequate for their first experience and they will wish to stop. For others a 'taste ' of one or more of the instruments is now called for.

REMEMBER we want the lady to say "Thank you, I think I could have taken more!". This is the encouragement that spanking is genuinely something they wish to continue, maybe at a future date. For others this is a 'one off' which answers their questions and will never be repeated. For the final and smallest group this is the entry pass to the private SPANKER/SPANKEE' world..

For much more on all forms of spanking CLICK on the menu at the top of the page to take you to the relevant page.